I feel the... need to change my blog url. It's just so... not me anymore. I mean, I still love Rorschach but eh.
Chloe wants me to post more but SRSLY - my life is so boring and I have nothing, nada to post.
FYI: Camps all of the 16th - 21st. You might be able to reach me, you might not, depending on whether I can sneak my phone in with my bags. I definitely won't be updating during that time so. Yeah.
Haha Chloe, you're the first person in a LOOOONNNGGG time to tell me to update my blog. Mostly, it's because not more than 3 people are actually reading this boring public journal of my life x.x
I wonder what this says about me.
Anyway, on to less pessimistic things.
Been watching V for Vendetta a lot lately. Hugo Weaving is incredible as V. I cannot get enough of his disembodied voice behind the porcelain mask he wears.
Saturday. This last Saturday was the first time I played on the Wii and I was completely addicted to the Swordplay game on Wii Resort. Bashed through - if you pardon the weak pun - the first seven levels in one sitting (standing?) and duelled against my dad. It was 1-1, as I recall. My brother tried it too and he was great: all he took was one downward blow and the opponent fell off the platform. That's mad skills right there.
This Saturday was also the first time I felt a real clarity in what I was painting. Like, I didn't jump in straightaway like I was usually wont to do when I did water-painting but I actually planned what I had to do in order to create a certain effect. It felt good and I actually got a compliment from another student whom I deeply admire for her artistic ability.
Tomorrow is Streaming Results Day. Feels weird not to be nervous like some people I know are but that's the truth. What's done is done and I'm ready for wherever God decides to put me.
Mood: Mellow Music: Details In the Fabric - Jason Mraz ft. James Morrison
I promised no more OMG I♥HIMSOMUCH&IHATEMYSELFFORBELIEVINGHIM posts yeah?
Thus the reason I didn't post yesterday and didn't feel like posting today.
The love from everyone has been nice (x Thanks y'all.
So. Yesterday was Guy Fawkes' Night and I couldn't find my V for Vendetta DVD. I did, however, manage to find the soundtrack to it at Sembawang (for $4.50 too! Bargain, much?) amongst boxes and boxes of old CDs. Snagged Anna Nalick's Wreck of the Day album too, it's been pretty much the soundtrack to my life these past two days. I listen to it in my iPod, on my radio, on my computer, everywhere and at all times if possible. Her voice is so perfect for the whole Screwed up in love sort of songs I can relate to now. Particularly liked Bleed and More Than Melody, especially the latter. Take a listen. You'll fall in love with her songs.
Been talking to Geoffrey a lot. It's nice to have a guy who has the exact same taste in books as me. Pity, he said his mum packed all his books up while their house gets renovated and they stay at his Grandma's. I'm so jealous of him, he has the whole Terry Pratchett DISCWORLD series /: All I have are old Robert Ludlum novels from my dad.
Found and borrowed the epic Watchmen and John Green's Paper Towns from Bishan Library on Wednesday. Finished both today, I think I shall return them tomorrow or Sunday. Tuesday is Streaming Results day and I am scared that I might have made the wrong decision in the long-term. What can one do with Art, exactly? I should have put something more 'stable'; I had the chance, didn't I? Zachus' Brian Tracy quote about how the greater the goal, the larger the obstacles comes to mind, oddly.
1 mil in Neo. I am somewhat happy. Yeah, I'm a geek, whatever.
Mum just finished baking Foccacia bread again. I love having a mum who enjoys baking.
I swear I'll stop moping about and posting pathetic self-pitying posts about my current situation with a certain guy after today.
Honest.
Went back to school for the last Humanities bridging course. We watched two videos from Malaysia and I thought the kids they interviewed in it were really cute. But the second video made me a bit frustrated, people in the know should understand why. But if you don't, it doesn't matter anyway.
I texted him this morning, curious for the reason why he suddenly realized his interest in me had blown out, like a campfire burning into the deep night, all too soon dissipating into a haze of thick smoke, flickering embers and charred remains of what was probably firewood a couple hours back. I asked him whether that spark he mentioned still having was ignitable or like the aforesaid dying embers, its steady glow cooling after some time. I don't expect him to reply to my message; he made it pretty clear a couple weeks back that he wasn't exactly enthusiastic towards wasting a(n?) sms on clingy me.
I mean, I'd like a little clarity towards his sudden revelation but if he doesn't want to give a girl some closure, well then, that's fine by me. The 'XXXXXX IS AN ASSHOLE' thing I put in big block letters in my journal would just have proven itself true.
You know what frustrates me the most? The fact that I'm pretty sure whatever he said to me right before that fateful text was a lie, or at least, a half-lie. And I can't believe I fell for that. Seriously. I mean, how the hell do you STOP liking someone? By your own volition too. It pisses me off because that means he never /truly/ liked me in the first place - he was just filling an empty part of his life and then, when someone better came along, I got replaced /:
Maybe I've been giving myself too much credit and this is God's almighty Karma working against me.
I'm not pretty and I never will be, likely. I'm not smart, I'm just blessed (I almost typed 'bleed' instead of 'blessed'!) with enough common sense in my genes to know that if you work hard, you get on even footing with those naturally intelligent. I'm not funny or cute (in the way guys like, at least) or graceful or kind enough that people acknowledge it as being part of my personality. I'm not friendly in that Audrey/Jiayi-smiley sort of way and I'm definitely not humble enough to make (good!) friends with those of the opposite sex without thinking that they like me.
In other words, I suck and I'll never be able to find a guy who likes me as I am and I'll probably have to accept my fate as a lesbian since the only people who love me (outside of my family) are girls.
Okay. I was kidding about that last part.
This sucks.
But whatever. Like I told my Godma, this is just another one of those teenage things you experience. Heartbreak. (The quote, If your heart was really broken, you'd be dead by now, comes to mind.) Rejection.
It's not the end of the world. Is it?
NO.
I am stronger than this. It's just like playing a board game and landing on a square that says 'Proceed back to starting square' just as you're about to win. A little disappointing.
I'm glad I won't be seeing him this holiday. I'd just give him that hurt look and then he wouldn't say anything and then I wouldn't say anything and it would be awkward.
God, give me the strength to forgive, forget and move on.
A/N: Just noticed the record number of 'I's in this post. Great - now I'm selfish too. I should be blogging about how my cousins are living in Vietnam and how I hope that the typhoon doesn't reach them but NO, I have to blog about my tiny insignificant love life. Kimberly, you are pathetic.
Mood: An emotion that connotates Sadness, Pessimism, Disappointment and Self-loathing Music: Beautiful - Eminem
I desperately want to use a cussword to describe what I'm feeling but bleh. I don't think the knowledge has sunk in yet or I'm just being my stubborn Taurus self and hoping for the best.
This sucks.
Screw you, screw your mother and screw the horse you effin' rode in on. I'm overreacting and I know it but I kind of wish I had never asked you what I did. The truth hurts like hell and I'm probably going to get an infection with this wound so raw and deep. I feel like a cat. Did you know they are one of the worst animals to show they're in pain? SRSLY. I hate you, I hate myself and I hate this negativity that is within my being. I mean, I know it's not your fault but knowing what I know stinks. Ignorance would be bliss and you know it and I know you know it but whatever. Honesty's the best policy and I appreciate you not letting me live/breathe/hold on to this lie.
Yeah. I'm in a bad mood. I'd probably do the girly broken-hearted thing and cry myself to sleep but that would be stupid. Just... eurgh.
up till this moment , i still dun understand why im still crying ... maybe it might be as kimberly says, the ending of something may be the beginning of something else - Charmaine's blog
Posting this just because I was really flattered that she remembered my sentence when I couldn't even remember it at all XD
Dad bought a few big-ticket items today. First was the Wii and the Resort Game package for it. Then, the super huuuuuge golf umbrella. And finally, a new 42" LCD TV -.-
Ahhhh. Last two days in E1. I am sort of depressed now :C I can't imagine not seeing my lovely e-oneders everyday, from laughing at JiaYi's retardedness-slash-joking to getting smacked around by either Rachael or YanLing (which is actually extremely embarrassing but hey - they're just having a laugh and I get a kick out of it too.) to grinning at Pretty Aud/Odd and making her laugh.
I will miss HuiYing playing KQ with me and walking towards the bus stop with me :( I will miss ShaoWei's blur replies to Ms Tay's chemistry questions and his unforgettable "I can explain..." answer. I will miss Joel's buck teeth and him constantly trying to get the teacher's attention by asking smart alecky questions. I will miss JiaLing lying spread-eagled on the floor when Ms TB wants us to do push-ups. I will miss JunLiang tapping me on my shoulder and hiding when I turn around to look for who did that to me. And then realising it's him and telling him that that's getting tired. I will miss KaiSeng irritating everyone with his in-your-face attitude.
In short, I will miss all the e-oneders. ILY guys :*
Went to YanLing's house to play Rockband today. Very fun. I realized that I have no hand-eye coordination whatsoever and singing is more of my forte. Yay. That so totally rhymed XD
Wish us luck for the costume-thingy tomorrow C: I hope we do well.
k!mberly
250495 one st. john 08two st. john 09 // child of god (: HIPSterZHSSian sarcasm is my superpower.
I also happen to be rather clumsy & messy.
five and thirteen are my lucky numbers. regardless of whether they actually work.
for the sake of your well-being, leave your lies and insincerity at home because I definitely don't appreciate them. I BELIEVE IN HARVEY DENT!
-coughbatman referencecough-
yes, I do get giggly when confronted with chocolate, comic books or milo. go figure ;3
a self-confessed conspiracy theorist who responds awkwardly to hugs.
I still think it's infinitely stupid to take pictures of yourself in a toilet.
Obsessions
HIM, rainy days at home, guitar riffs, quick drum beats,
fall out boy, p!nk, sara bareilles, teddy geiger, corrine may, the fray, arctic monkeys, franz ferdinand,
science-fiction, skulduggery pleasant, artemis fowl, batman comics,
robin/raven, batman/catwoman, rogue/pyro, harry/hermione, hermione/artemis, rose/scorpius, remus/tonks,
heath ledger, pirates of the caribbean, ocean's thirteen, christian bale, v for vendetta, 10 things I hate about you, the dark knight,
chocolate, peach milk tea, being original, going nova, dancing hyperly with my friends,
welcome to the goldbergs, HEROES, CSI: NY, house M.D, seinfeld,
taking naps, lime green folders, rollercoasters, polaroids, feminism.
I ♥ CLARINE, HUISI, SHUHAN, ZACHUS, GEOFFREY & 6R5 07'. More than anyone will ever know.
Burn, burn, burn
Twilight, the smell of rain and exhaust fumes mixed together, buses that ought to be double decker but aren't, traffic lights, tests, spectacles,
superficiality, biased people, racism, SEXISM, ron/hermione, draco/harry ((who comes up with this stuff???)), remus/sirius,
chauvinistic pigs, magnetic chess sets, being thought of as a sociopath, superman, copy cats, britney spears, paris hilton,
yam ice cream, being broke, book fines, unreasonable teachers, wet leaves on the pavement, sean kingston, students with short skirts,
overpriced books, bad advertisements, onion rings, real/faux fur.
Advice
Flutterby.
Wednesday, 11 November 2009 @ 19:22
I feel the... need to change my blog url. It's just so... not me anymore. I mean, I still love Rorschach but eh.
Chloe wants me to post more but SRSLY - my life is so boring and I have nothing, nada to post.
FYI: Camps all of the 16th - 21st. You might be able to reach me, you might not, depending on whether I can sneak my phone in with my bags. I definitely won't be updating during that time so. Yeah.
Haha Chloe, you're the first person in a LOOOONNNGGG time to tell me to update my blog. Mostly, it's because not more than 3 people are actually reading this boring public journal of my life x.x
I wonder what this says about me.
Anyway, on to less pessimistic things.
Been watching V for Vendetta a lot lately. Hugo Weaving is incredible as V. I cannot get enough of his disembodied voice behind the porcelain mask he wears.
Saturday. This last Saturday was the first time I played on the Wii and I was completely addicted to the Swordplay game on Wii Resort. Bashed through - if you pardon the weak pun - the first seven levels in one sitting (standing?) and duelled against my dad. It was 1-1, as I recall. My brother tried it too and he was great: all he took was one downward blow and the opponent fell off the platform. That's mad skills right there.
This Saturday was also the first time I felt a real clarity in what I was painting. Like, I didn't jump in straightaway like I was usually wont to do when I did water-painting but I actually planned what I had to do in order to create a certain effect. It felt good and I actually got a compliment from another student whom I deeply admire for her artistic ability.
Tomorrow is Streaming Results Day. Feels weird not to be nervous like some people I know are but that's the truth. What's done is done and I'm ready for wherever God decides to put me.
Mood: Mellow Music: Details In the Fabric - Jason Mraz ft. James Morrison
I promised no more OMG I♥HIMSOMUCH&IHATEMYSELFFORBELIEVINGHIM posts yeah?
Thus the reason I didn't post yesterday and didn't feel like posting today.
The love from everyone has been nice (x Thanks y'all.
So. Yesterday was Guy Fawkes' Night and I couldn't find my V for Vendetta DVD. I did, however, manage to find the soundtrack to it at Sembawang (for $4.50 too! Bargain, much?) amongst boxes and boxes of old CDs. Snagged Anna Nalick's Wreck of the Day album too, it's been pretty much the soundtrack to my life these past two days. I listen to it in my iPod, on my radio, on my computer, everywhere and at all times if possible. Her voice is so perfect for the whole Screwed up in love sort of songs I can relate to now. Particularly liked Bleed and More Than Melody, especially the latter. Take a listen. You'll fall in love with her songs.
Been talking to Geoffrey a lot. It's nice to have a guy who has the exact same taste in books as me. Pity, he said his mum packed all his books up while their house gets renovated and they stay at his Grandma's. I'm so jealous of him, he has the whole Terry Pratchett DISCWORLD series /: All I have are old Robert Ludlum novels from my dad.
Found and borrowed the epic Watchmen and John Green's Paper Towns from Bishan Library on Wednesday. Finished both today, I think I shall return them tomorrow or Sunday. Tuesday is Streaming Results day and I am scared that I might have made the wrong decision in the long-term. What can one do with Art, exactly? I should have put something more 'stable'; I had the chance, didn't I? Zachus' Brian Tracy quote about how the greater the goal, the larger the obstacles comes to mind, oddly.
1 mil in Neo. I am somewhat happy. Yeah, I'm a geek, whatever.
Mum just finished baking Foccacia bread again. I love having a mum who enjoys baking.
I swear I'll stop moping about and posting pathetic self-pitying posts about my current situation with a certain guy after today.
Honest.
Went back to school for the last Humanities bridging course. We watched two videos from Malaysia and I thought the kids they interviewed in it were really cute. But the second video made me a bit frustrated, people in the know should understand why. But if you don't, it doesn't matter anyway.
I texted him this morning, curious for the reason why he suddenly realized his interest in me had blown out, like a campfire burning into the deep night, all too soon dissipating into a haze of thick smoke, flickering embers and charred remains of what was probably firewood a couple hours back. I asked him whether that spark he mentioned still having was ignitable or like the aforesaid dying embers, its steady glow cooling after some time. I don't expect him to reply to my message; he made it pretty clear a couple weeks back that he wasn't exactly enthusiastic towards wasting a(n?) sms on clingy me.
I mean, I'd like a little clarity towards his sudden revelation but if he doesn't want to give a girl some closure, well then, that's fine by me. The 'XXXXXX IS AN ASSHOLE' thing I put in big block letters in my journal would just have proven itself true.
You know what frustrates me the most? The fact that I'm pretty sure whatever he said to me right before that fateful text was a lie, or at least, a half-lie. And I can't believe I fell for that. Seriously. I mean, how the hell do you STOP liking someone? By your own volition too. It pisses me off because that means he never /truly/ liked me in the first place - he was just filling an empty part of his life and then, when someone better came along, I got replaced /:
Maybe I've been giving myself too much credit and this is God's almighty Karma working against me.
I'm not pretty and I never will be, likely. I'm not smart, I'm just blessed (I almost typed 'bleed' instead of 'blessed'!) with enough common sense in my genes to know that if you work hard, you get on even footing with those naturally intelligent. I'm not funny or cute (in the way guys like, at least) or graceful or kind enough that people acknowledge it as being part of my personality. I'm not friendly in that Audrey/Jiayi-smiley sort of way and I'm definitely not humble enough to make (good!) friends with those of the opposite sex without thinking that they like me.
In other words, I suck and I'll never be able to find a guy who likes me as I am and I'll probably have to accept my fate as a lesbian since the only people who love me (outside of my family) are girls.
Okay. I was kidding about that last part.
This sucks.
But whatever. Like I told my Godma, this is just another one of those teenage things you experience. Heartbreak. (The quote, If your heart was really broken, you'd be dead by now, comes to mind.) Rejection.
It's not the end of the world. Is it?
NO.
I am stronger than this. It's just like playing a board game and landing on a square that says 'Proceed back to starting square' just as you're about to win. A little disappointing.
I'm glad I won't be seeing him this holiday. I'd just give him that hurt look and then he wouldn't say anything and then I wouldn't say anything and it would be awkward.
God, give me the strength to forgive, forget and move on.
A/N: Just noticed the record number of 'I's in this post. Great - now I'm selfish too. I should be blogging about how my cousins are living in Vietnam and how I hope that the typhoon doesn't reach them but NO, I have to blog about my tiny insignificant love life. Kimberly, you are pathetic.
Mood: An emotion that connotates Sadness, Pessimism, Disappointment and Self-loathing Music: Beautiful - Eminem
I desperately want to use a cussword to describe what I'm feeling but bleh. I don't think the knowledge has sunk in yet or I'm just being my stubborn Taurus self and hoping for the best.
This sucks.
Screw you, screw your mother and screw the horse you effin' rode in on. I'm overreacting and I know it but I kind of wish I had never asked you what I did. The truth hurts like hell and I'm probably going to get an infection with this wound so raw and deep. I feel like a cat. Did you know they are one of the worst animals to show they're in pain? SRSLY. I hate you, I hate myself and I hate this negativity that is within my being. I mean, I know it's not your fault but knowing what I know stinks. Ignorance would be bliss and you know it and I know you know it but whatever. Honesty's the best policy and I appreciate you not letting me live/breathe/hold on to this lie.
Yeah. I'm in a bad mood. I'd probably do the girly broken-hearted thing and cry myself to sleep but that would be stupid. Just... eurgh.
up till this moment , i still dun understand why im still crying ... maybe it might be as kimberly says, the ending of something may be the beginning of something else - Charmaine's blog
Posting this just because I was really flattered that she remembered my sentence when I couldn't even remember it at all XD
Dad bought a few big-ticket items today. First was the Wii and the Resort Game package for it. Then, the super huuuuuge golf umbrella. And finally, a new 42" LCD TV -.-
Ahhhh. Last two days in E1. I am sort of depressed now :C I can't imagine not seeing my lovely e-oneders everyday, from laughing at JiaYi's retardedness-slash-joking to getting smacked around by either Rachael or YanLing (which is actually extremely embarrassing but hey - they're just having a laugh and I get a kick out of it too.) to grinning at Pretty Aud/Odd and making her laugh.
I will miss HuiYing playing KQ with me and walking towards the bus stop with me :( I will miss ShaoWei's blur replies to Ms Tay's chemistry questions and his unforgettable "I can explain..." answer. I will miss Joel's buck teeth and him constantly trying to get the teacher's attention by asking smart alecky questions. I will miss JiaLing lying spread-eagled on the floor when Ms TB wants us to do push-ups. I will miss JunLiang tapping me on my shoulder and hiding when I turn around to look for who did that to me. And then realising it's him and telling him that that's getting tired. I will miss KaiSeng irritating everyone with his in-your-face attitude.
In short, I will miss all the e-oneders. ILY guys :*
Went to YanLing's house to play Rockband today. Very fun. I realized that I have no hand-eye coordination whatsoever and singing is more of my forte. Yay. That so totally rhymed XD
Wish us luck for the costume-thingy tomorrow C: I hope we do well.
Mellow
An emotion that connotates Sadness, Pessimism, Disappointment and Self-loathing
